The Tin Lizard

A Plague of Pigs

What's numerous, wily, elusive, scruffy, and a big nuisance in Texas?  

Politicians, you say?  Well yes, but it seems that feral pigs go them one better.  The Smithsonian Magazine always has a lot of interesting material, and I found this article fascinating: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/A-Plague-of-Pigs-in-Texas.html.

In some cultures, pigs are a symbol of good luck for the new year. 

Forever Stamps Forever

The word is out (though the official announcement won't come until January 14) that most or all stamps issued by the USPS in 2011 and after will be "forever" stamps, valid for the basic first-class letter rate now and in future, regardless of rate changes.

This will be a great convenience to those who still use snail mail, in which group I count myself.  No more need to catch up to current rates by finding a 2-cent stamp, or worse, to have to add a 5 and a 2 to some not-so-ancient 37-centers as I did this year sending Christmas cards.  (Yes, I still send about half my season's greetings by mail.)

Actually I happen to think the USPS has done a good job of adapting over the years.  "Snail" mail, for example, is a misnomer in this day when everything within my metropolitan area and even farther will be delivered next day, and most mailings going beyond that go by air.  On-line Click-and-Ship is a very handy service; self-adhesive stamps were an advance, and forever stamps a greater one.   About my only complaint would be that there is less perseverance in delivering the mail - an inch of snow a couple of weeks ago and my carrier apparently just decided not to brave it!

It's not the USPS's fault that the use of regular mail for many applications is declining (bills and payments, as well as personal letters), though I believe old-fashioned physical mail is still going to be around for quite a while, if in smaller volume.  Of course they'll need to find a way to deal with that problem; forever stamps aren't going to bring back traffic that's being lost through various systemic changes.  But it's still a big convenience for mailers.

  

Slow News Day

Often, the period right after Christmas can be a nice, quiet, relaxing break from the frantic, overdone, deadline-driven pre-Christmas season.  The trouble is that for news media, there isn't a lot of fodder available with which to fill newspaper pages, webpages, tweets, and feeds.

The latest big storms have provided some welcome material for "news" in the U.S., at least, with rain, floods, and mudslides in the west, and snow and blizzards in the east, providing filler that must seem like manna (or falling snow?) to the media.

Still, you know it's a slow news day when you find all your news sources breathlessly covering the latest selections of films to be enshrined in the Library of Congress Film Registry.   I enjoy movies, and have watched a few in my day, but this blizzard of reportage is very much over the top.

Help For The Holidays - Amazon's Return To Its Roots

Amazon.com is said to be developing software that would reduce the amount of returned merchandise by enabling people to block gift orders from certain recipients, or to prevent certain types of gifts from ever being delivered.  The cited example is the sewing kit from Aunt Millie, who might mean well, but whose gift would never be used by her nephew, who might choose to put Aunt Millie on his "no gift" list and get a credit, or select something else.

This idea has already elicited commentary from some quarters as being cruel, impolite, or antisocial.  I understand those complaints, but mores do change over time.  Just as no one under 50 thinks it necessary to "RSVP" to an invitation any longer, and a post on Facebook is rapidly replacing the Christmas card, there's no doubt the idea of heading off gifts you don't want is likely to catch on, at least with a segment of the public.

I sort of like the idea in the abstract.  Think of the trouble it could save in receiving the unwanted item and getting it packaged up, returned, and credited, not to mention the costs of return shipping.   It's intriguing for someone like me -- at this point in my life, most of my needs are met and I often have trouble thinking of something when a relative asks what they can buy me -- to have the possibility of converting all gifts to a spendable credit (assuming that's an option). On the other hand, maybe I'm just fortunate, but as I try to think of someone whose name I would put on a don't-send-it list, I can't think of anyone.   

The system would have other clear drawbacks.  The service would supposedly be anonymous, but even so, it would likely complicate your later communications with Aunt Millie.  And think about missed opportunities:  What if the gift were a book by an author you'd never read but might love; or an introductory training session for skydiving, which might have become your life's passion if you had tried it?  Finally, we already have other ways to accomplish the same thing, such as wish lists or gift cards.  So on balance, I suspect the appeal of Amazon's new service is real but finite. 

Christmas Season Ads

What would Christmas be without advertising, and more advertising?  Christmas in the U.S. has been commercialized since sometime in the 19th century, so doing without it would be like returning to the dark ages for most of us.

I particularly watch for the old warhorses, the national and local commercials that return to television right along with Santa Clauses and Christmas trees, and then disappear for the rest of the year. The "Ove Glove" is one such, but it actually is available year-round and does have some practical use.  Others, however, do not:

There's the "Clapper," that wondrous (?) device that allows the feeble or lazy to turn off their lights from their bed or easy chair just by clapping their hands.  Do you know anyone who owns one?  I strongly suspect the only person in the world who owns one is the little old lady who's been clapping her lights off in these ads for several years.  But they're still trying!

Another return visitor is the woman who comes back to one of the mattress stores every year at this time (and in the same clothes) looking to buy at least two mattresses (one of which will be free).  We know she's forgetful because she asks the same questions every year.  I figure the only way she could use so many mattresses is that she's running a brothel. 

Ah, but my favorite is the Chia Pet.  Pet Rocks came and went, but Chia Pets seem to continue in popularity in some weird Brigadoon-like alternate universe that appears only once a year, at Christmastime.  They mutate constantly into new forms; there were only two or three shapes a decade ago, but a whole range of choices now, including President Obama and Sponge Bob.  Try the Chia website to see them all, as well as finding links to register your Chia pet, find out what to feed it, get its shots, and even find a Chia veterinarian (I exaggerate somewhat). 

And here's my discovery for the day, something I didn't know myself until just now:  Chia, OveGlove, and the Clapper actually are all sold by the same company... but this is a "good wholesome fun" company - they have nothing to do with the mattress lady's brothel. 

True Meaning Of Christmas

Many people lament that Christmas has become so commercial, so from time to time we get organizations, books, movies, or sermons that remind us about the "true meaning of Christmas." 

Usually, when people say that, they are referring to a religious meaning.  And they are technically correct, since the term we now use clearly arises from the Christian tradition - the birth of Christ. 

I have no problem with that but I like to go a little farther back.  It's generally conceded that the date we now celebrate as Christmas was chosen rather arbitrarily by the church to coincide with a much older tradition, when people were already accustomed to special festivities. 

That tradition was the winter solstice, the day on which we have the same number of hours of daylight as darkness in the northern hemisphere.  And what a magical, yes, even religious, experience it must have been to mankind in the dark ages to observe the daylight dwindling every year, uncertain whether one day it might just continue to peter out into perpetual darkness.  We will, of course, reach that point one day, if we don't blow ourselves up or deprive ourselves of breathable air first.

In the meantime, though, I like to think about our prehistoric ancestors.  They celebrated the return of light, the renewable cycle of life - things about which we still should be amazed today.  Literally, today, December 21, which IS our winter solstice.  

Sell By Annoyance

Television commercials this Christmas season seem more annoying, and far less sophisticated, than usual.  I suppose it's the state of the economy.  Many companies are desperate to make sales, but they don't seem prepared to spend money on making sophisticated or polished commercials.

Instead, we get the really bad jingles: Honda - "holiday, o holiday" is one of the worst, and they repeat it every 15 seconds.   We get the completely nonsensical: Another car company - Hyundai - has two refugees from some 1960's be-in hopping around a car to no apparent purpose.   And, we get the just plain mind-numbing ones, like the Safeway ads with the tree ornaments (skunks? fish?) that seek to outdo one another in the banality of their dialogue.  

Maybe these companies (and the many others who are putting out equally obnoxious sales pitches) think this kind of thing generates sales.   I think it can backfire.  It does in my case:  I had begun to think Honda wasn't too bad a car and thought I might get one of their smaller models for running in-town errands and such.... No more!  These commercials are so bad I wouldn't buy a Honda on a bet, and I won't for many years to come.

On TV: Bipartisanship Finally Producing Results?

What with all the hard-line digging-in of heels among politicians on both sides of the aisle, it's a great relief to see everyone coming together to pass a much-needed piece of legislation.

No, I'm not talking about the compromise over tax cuts and complex matters like that (which in any case, may yet change shape). 

I'm talking about a bill that will preclude advertisers from jacking up the volume of their television commercials louder than the regular programming.  Finally, it seems this problem, which has generated complaints for years and has no proponents other than the advertisers, is going to be fixed. 

It's a triumph of bipartisan political cooperation, and a triumph of the people over the corporations, albeit on a small, simple issue -- and it only took about 30 years for Congress to do something about it.

Possibly, it's already too late, since watching television is passé.  Nowadays people watch movies and shows on their smart phones, tablets, or computers; and if they do watch television, they're probably not seeing it "live."   For at least two decades, we've been recording what we want to watch (news is the exception) so we can skip commercials; more recently we also have the option of "on demand" offerings from our cable provider, which don't contain commercials.

In fact, the changing nature of the TV market may be the reason that this legislation can pass now; advertisers are less dogged in defending their right to intrude on a medium that's catching fewer eyeballs anyway.

An Eggplant Smash Hit

The poor eggplant doesn't get much respect in the food world here in the U.S. of A.  Hardly ever do you see it mentioned among those things you "must" eat, or clustered among the list of vegetables that have especially high nutrition value.  It's common in many world cuisines -- Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Asian -- but here in North America, most people can only think of one or two ways to cook it (breaded/fried; eggplant parmigiana, and maybe an occasional venture into moussaka). Maybe it would help if we had an elegant-sounding name for it over here, as they do on the continent:  aubergine.

Last week I was planning an earthy dish of braised beef chuck, but I had an eggplant on hand and decided the texture of cooked eggplant should lend itself to being puréed.  Browsing a few books, I soon found "silky eggplant purée" on page 509 of the 2004 Gourmet Cookbook (a useful general cookbook, by the way, and memorable since I consider it an unofficial tombstone for the Gourmet Magazine, which the publishers decided to wreck by turning it into a collection of tiny snippets of writing.) 

A lightbulb snapped on (no, let's be environmentally conscious and say a CFL slowly glowed on) as I realized this recipe was an old Turkish concoction with which I was already familiar.  It was like meeting an old friend you've forgotten you knew.  It's usually served in Turkey with braised lamb but it seemed a perfect fit for my beef chuck too. Basically, it involves grilling an eggplant, puréeing it, making a white sauce, and blending the eggplant into it with a bit of cheese.

The usual Turkish version, like the Gourmet one, is bland (some prefer to say subtle) because the lamb it's served with will likely have an onion/tomato sauce.  I decided to spark it up a bit to accompany the different flavoring of my chuck, adding onion, green and yellow bell pepper, and a bit of extra cheese.  The peppers really make it pop.   One other adaptation:  I didn't want to waste the energy to fire up the oven broiler to cook the eggplant, and I certainly didn't want to light the grill in the 30-degree weather just to cook one eggplant, either.  The answer was the microwave.  Per Barbara Kafka (see my previous post) a medium eggplant cooks in about 15 minutes.  The smoky flavor is essential to the dish, so I cheated and used a little liquid smoke.  A big saving of energy and time - a shortcut I can live with.

Energy Saving Benefits Of The Microwave

Most of us home cooks, I think, still haven't got into the habit of using the microwave for much more than warming or defrosting things.  So hats off to the Washington Post, which I read most days, for republishing an article from Slate, which I generally don't (read).  This one, called "What's the Greenest Way to Cook Holiday Foods," by Brian Palmer, provides food for thought, and thought for food.

The article tackles the question of the energy consumed by various methods of cooking (among other things) a baked potato.  I've often regretted the waste that I knew was occurring when I popped a couple of potatoes into the oven to bake, but now, it's been quantified:  Baking a potato requires two kilowatts of energy!  And by the way, it's been calculated that in the course of the potato's journey from field to mouth, cooking it often accounts for 37% of the energy used, far more than is used in transport. 

For potatoes, really, there are not a lot of better, less energy-intensive alternatives -- boiling, frying, or baking all take loads of energy.  Microwaving used far less energy and I've used it to precook diced potatoes for chowders and such, but not where texture is important.  The microwave will give you a cooked potato, but not truly a baked one.

Still, this item reminds me how versatile and energy-efficient the microwave can be for some foods, especially vegetables.  Nuke cabbage wedges in a covered dish to accompany your corned beef at St. Patrick's day; they'll turn out crisp-tender and green, rather than mushy and gray.  The same works for Brussels sprouts.  Winter squash, yes.  And energy will be saved in the process; none of those giant pots of boiling water or long bouts in the oven with that squash.

Moreover, you don't have to guess about how long to microwave things.  Just get a copy of Barbara Kafka's "Microwave Gourmet."   Skip the recipes, which are mostly forgettable, but go to the large alphabetically organized section in the back that provides cooking times and advice for a very wide variety of foods.   

There's a link in the right-hand column to Amazon.com, where you can acquire the book if you don't already have one.  The hardback is out of print; the paperback appears also to be out of print, and some sellers are offering new copies of the paperback at $500!, though others are more reasonable. It seems that the publisher missed a bet by not getting out a new edition of this classic in time for Christmas.

In my next post, I'll get around to the topic of nuking eggplant, and an interesting way to prepare that vegetable, which were the things I started to write about today.  But this is too long, already.